Pros and Cons

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Many, if not most, people know that on Jaden's first day of kindergarten, we got an email from our landlord informing us of a 15% rent increase. Thus started the Housing Drama again for us. After weeks and a lot of searching and crying, we managed to get it down to a 12% increase instead. We resolved to stay put and pay it.

Not too long afterwards, an amazing opportunity came our way to rent a duplex at a savings of $750 a month compared to our new rent. This threw us into turmoil again but we decided to go for it. In the meantime, it got rented to someone else without even being offered the chance to work something out.

Now what?

We had resigned ourselves to spending a lot of money and staying put. I was calling the rent increase a Stability Tax. But the lost chance to move made us think maybe we should keep looking at the lower price point. Thus the past three weeks of me living and breathing the Craigslist page for my area. Hour after hour, I watch the search results in my price range go from 178 to 9 once I click "dogs allowed" in my search terms.

When we lost the duplex, we were all in shock as it seemed like a pretty sure thing coming from the source that it had (good friend of a good friend). My MIL said, "well there's always the studio."

Yes, the studio. You might remember not too long ago I posted about how I had 12 days to get out of our house and mostly into storage so we could fit in my MIL's studio while we searched for a rental.

Here we are with the same troubles (price, dog), different day (a year later).

So on Thursday we came to my MIL's for a one week trial of living here again, commuting Jaden to school via train/bike with Jeff and me in the car for the afternoon return trip. Friday's morning commute went well. Then I picked him up and realized that there was no school Monday or Tuesday. Plum choice for a trial week, not.

Still I hound Craigslist. In the meantime, things at Jeff's work have been unstable. We're not sure what is going to happen there yet. So we made the decision this morning to give notice to our darling, overpriced house.

We plan to move on Thanksgiving Weekend. We plan to stay through summer and then..... -- well we don't know for certain but let's just say we are damn tired of not setting down roots, not owning a house and the constant stomachaches of life here.

PROS OF MOVING BACK TO SAN JOSE:

  • $2550 will no longer be going out of our account for our landlord's retirement. Therefore we will make unprecedented financial progress over the next 8-9 months.
  • We will be close to our old friends from preschool and playgroup.
  • I will be in walking distance to my therapist, which is good because I'll probably spend all the rent savings on that. (Just kidding Jeff.)


CONS OF MOVING BACK TO SAN JOSE:

  • Jeff will be gone 12 hours a day again with the commute.
  • We will not have any privacy from Jaden for months on end.
  • Jaden and I will not be able to swing by and visit Jeff at work spontaneously.
  • I will not be able to host any kindergarten playdates for Jaden.
  • We will not have our own home and our own space to be a family.
  • Jackson is extremely anxious at my MIL's.


There is a whole category of social losses for Jeff and me that I really don't care to list because I will get too upset.

The bottom line is I never looked back after we left San Jose last September. I haven't missed it at all. This decision feels like moving backwards in every way but one, financial. But the financial reason weighs equal to or more than all the emotional, social, time CONS.

Jaden will be affected the least as I will do anything and everything to make it possible for him to succeed in school and continue socializing as he grows his friendships there. That is my job.

But people?

I am so worn out. I am not sure I have all this in me. I'm getting to the point I don't want to get out of bed in the morning, I am so beaten down. I love my town, I love my house, I love Jaden's school, I love(d) getting a text from my husband that he was on his way home and seeing his sweet face 10 minutes later.

And it's all gone now in just a matter of weeks. I will have to make a new mantra: two steps backward, one step forward; 35 miles south, 658 miles north to real home ownership and the stability I have craved my entire life.

I am sad and heartsick and will probably take some form of hiatus from posting here. But since I stupidly signed up for NaBloPoMo, you'll be able to find me every day at Wee Festivity.