An Empty House

Harpo hasn't eaten since Sat. night. I've never seen her so sick as she was yesterday afternoon and evening. She is in the hospital today getting IV fluids and bloodwork. We are still missing a lot of information. I go back in two hours to meet with the oncologist again.

I can't even bother with all the scenarios, I just know the worst case is we lose her in a matter of days. I can't bear it, I just can't bear it! Coming home to the empty house today is brutal. I am not ready, or ever will be ready, but definitely not ready now to say goodbye. I realize how faithful she has been in our life, how she is such an enormous part of our family.

It is so hard to leave her at the vet's each time. Why can't I stay and comfort her? I just want to be right by her side the way she is always right by mine.

This is going to be a long two hours.