Daydream

I am so late to get the day started, I was supposed to leave half an hour ago to get Jaden to school. But Jackson is miraculously quiet in his crate, Jaden is playing happily in his room so I got greedy and stole some computer time for myself.

I am really over this exasperated, relentless feeling that I am living for everyone but me most of the hours of the day. I go and go and go in an endless cycle and the whole time feel this nagging knot in my stomach crying "What about me?" Where am I all day long?

I am stuffed deep inside the responsibilities of my life, that's where. There is no escape right now. I feel cramped inside and out. The house is overwhelmingly small, the narrow walls seem to close in further on me every day. I want to break out of here but where would I go?

I spend my fleeting free time on Craiglist looking at rentals. I don't even bother with the real estate sites. I look and look around here and get discouraged. Where are we going to raise Jaden? How can we ever leave our friends and family here and how can we ever afford to stay here? It all gives me a giant headache and it's not just from the whopper of a head cold I woke up with yesterday.

Okay...my time is way up and I have to trudge along my day now.