A Healing Journey

I am on a healing journey. I have been tuning inwards more and more as I work to heal myself. I soak up wisdom about intuition. I have learned I can now clearly hear my intuition (unlike before) and now it's time to act on it. Days before Christmas, I could see the lymphoma activating again, where it had been quiet since October's biopsy. Discouragement was quickly replaced by disappointment and then, a decision to trust my intuition which was guiding me towards alternative and holistic cancer treatments.

I'm no longer angry at lymphoma or at war or in a battle with my body. I am working with my body. I now view lymphoma as a symptom of an imbalanced system. I truly believe that I have the power to heal myself and that my mind, my body and my spirit know exactly what to do. It is my job to give my body the support it needs to do its job.

So I have now assembled a holistic team to work on helping my body do what it needs to deal with the lymphoma, On Team Jess: Dr. Dave, a naturopathic oncologist, Dr. Rebecca, my regular naturopath for the past 9 months, Elie, a gifted acupuncturist I have been seeing since September, Mary, a specialist in psychoneuroimmunology, Dr. Serena, who specializes in NET. I also have a traditional oncologist, Dr. M, on the team who passed my bedside manner test and is in charge of my PET scans. I started an aggressive protocol with Dr. Dave yesterday, the next 9 weeks will fill my days with supplements, mind/body work, and daily exercise. I am patiently waiting to bring on a functional nutritionist to work on my long-term nutritional healing plan to correct what is probably a lifelong imbalance in my system.

I chose a word for the year very carefully after last year's unintended manifestations. JOY. In all of my reading about the emotional and psychological causes of cancer, distress and lack of joy were common themes. I have had to revisit my childhood and young adulthood these past months, and do some healing work around the traumas I experienced. It's hard work but it's worth it. I am making great progress in opening my heart to myself and allowing my sadnesses to flow through me instead of holding them back in a tight well as I have for many years. I now invite joy into my day every day. For example, a couple of weeks ago, I set an intention and entered a giveaway for Flora Bowley's Brave Intuitive Painting e-course. I won one of the five spots! Painting brings me such deep joy and to start my year in Flora's magical and capable hands while I am doing my protocol is a certain kind of alchemy.

I am finding that some people have quite a bit of fear around the idea of not choosing conventional treatments for cancer. I certainly had my fears and I am doing the hard work to release them. I have only pursued conventional treatments up until now. It has been nine years since I needed treatment and I am a different person now. I want to try something different. Plus, I know that my intuition leads me to making good decisions and ignoring my intuition has led to making bad decisions in the past. So I take one step at a time. I listen to my heart and my inner voice. I lean on my team. I take daily actions to live as long and as healthy as I can. Misao Okawa is my new hero, her advice is to eat well and get a lot of sleep. Okay then Misao! I'm on it.

Photo credit: Reuters/Kyodo

I am making radical lifestyle changes. First it was my diet in October and now it will be daily exercise and joy. I am releasing work for right now. I am my work. I am my full-time job.

I am on a healing journey. Yes, yes I am.