I am as blue as the label on my stupid Printshop cd.

I'm as blue as Jaden's tempera paint artwork from school that I recently framed.

Wait a minute. His artwork is all swirly and happy and I am not at all swirly and happy. I am a quintuple knot buried miles into my ball of blue-grey itchy wool yarn.

Let's see if I can do even better.

I'm blue like the ocean in a storm: deep, dark, churning and thrashing with mean whitecaps and I am cold, so cold your bones ache the minute you get near me.

Ah, that's it. That's me.