Cranky Blah Whiney Whinerson

I have been so blah lately.

Friday I had my PET scan for my six-month cancer checkup. I can't see my onc. until this Friday so I am having to wait a week for the results. I haven't waited more than three days in so long, I can't even remember. I'm sure part of this is why I'm restless, blah, unmotivated and agitated & struggling to sleep at night.

I always think, oh I'm not that worried about it and then realize after the appt. just how weighed down I really was.

I'm also edgy because of money and that always leads me to the housing issue. I feel so unsettled. Are we going to sell or what? I am not feeling too confident about the housing market. And then what? Rent? Rent what? Of course the main thing I love about this house is our backyard and just in time to enjoy it again I feel like I have to give it up. Then I think about summer and roasting in here and an apt. complex with AC and a pool sound mighty nice. Still all this leads me in circles over the biggest question of all: do we stay in CA or move away? Part of me just wants to decide already.

I'm really looking forward to Sunday, a new month and a new start. Because right now, I just feel like crying a river and flooding our dog hair-ridden floors.