Divorcing Information

I had a wonderful conversation with my mother-in-law on our way to Astoria last weekend. We talked, for the umpteenth time over the course of 10 years, about how my intuition is the weakest muscle in my life. I told myself, "it is even a part of my personality type, having weak intuition." I rely very much on information, I rely way too much. When faced with uncertainty or fear, I look outward for information, hoping to gain confidence and reassurance in my decision making. I don't even think about it, I simply seek. My information-seeking muscle is so strong, it requires no thought in order to flex it.

Intuition by Paper Whistle on Society 6

As Betty and I drove along Highway 30 towards Astoria, discussing my lifelong struggle to trust myself to know what is right, the conversation naturally meandered to the fact that I clearly recognize that until I start trusting myself, this muscle will remain weak. And that's when the proverbial light bulb moment arrived. I said (without over thinking), "I am in a bad marriage with information. I need to divorce it."

I've had that phrase ringing in my ears all week long...as I unsubscribe from this email list or that one (no offense people!) or unlike this Facebook page or that one. These are easy decisions for me now. "Divorce it! Divorce it!" I whisper to myself as I click. I have not even seen the effects of a less-crowded in-box yet, but I trust that they are going to be positive effects and arriving soon. On a daily basis, I bring in so much external feedback, it's absolutely overwhelming and paralyzing at times. I seek information on everything from mothering to food to climate change to politics to photography and entrepreneurship. Looking outward for business advice, particularly marketing, is leading me astray from my biggest strength: ME.

I know it's not going to be easy, but I'm looking forward to growing my intuition muscle and the relief of letting go of my fears. I will often state goals and dreams out loud as a way to take the next step in the process. Usually I just say it out loud to my darling husband but this time, it's blog worthy because of the business piece. I have been feeling for quite some time now that there is some "missing piece," some "thing" that was holding me back in business. I have sought and sought and sought that missing piece. I thought more and more information was the way to figure it out. We'll see what happens as I divorce information and open the door to ME.

I am 42 years old and I'm ready to trust myself.