Laparoscopic Surgery Coming My Way

I met with a surgeon this morning and she is no Dr. Eisner, let's get that straight right off the bat. Dr. Eisner was my surgeon in Orange County who did my other biopsies. That man, he was a gift to the world. I hope he's retired now in France with his adorable French wife. He was an amazing surgeon and the most compassionate physician I have EVER come in contact with on this almost 7.5 year journey in cancerland. He will get an entire post of his own one day, I cannot sum him up in an introduction to this biopsy here and now.

Anyway she will do. Besides I am weary now and not as feisty as I used to be I guess. I didn't hate her enough to find someone else. I want to get the show on the road. Besides I'm too sick right now with this stupid head "cold" aka kick my ass to the curb for one week now.

She will go in laparoscopically at first and everyone reading this pray she can get those bad boys out this way. Do you know what laparoscopically means? It means she's going to slice into my groin via my BELLY BUTTON that's what it means.

This shit sucks ass and pardon my fucking French if you don't mind.

And if she can't? Because oh, there's my aorta and some nerves and some limited edition fatty tissues, well then she'll have to go in the "open" way which means I'll wake up with not just three useless (small, but useless) incisions but a fourth gaping one. Great and I'm allergic to every fucking pain pill on the fucking planet.

"What can you take then? Vicodin?"

"Well I have issues with that too but I'll have to deal with it."

"You can always just try Motrin."

Mwuahahahaha. Motrin.

Except starting now, no ibuprofren for my feverish migrainish sad self, nope because that messes with my blood clotting and none of that is going on around here pre-op. No way Jose.

Thanks for letting me vent. I'm really terrified, I don't recover "smoothly" from general anesthesia and it's way, way easier to be pissed off than feel my fear.