I have really been slacking on blogging. When Harpo died, I just didn't care to blog for awhile. Nothing seemed big enough to write about and I didn't think anyone wanted to hear about my daily cry-fest on her bed. After that subsided a little, I was out of the habit.

Last weekend I took CBEST. If I pass, I will be allowed to be a substitute teacher in CA (assuming I pass the fingerprinting and TB tests). So we'll see. I did little studying and was worried about the math. I get the math and reading scores in one week and the writing score a week later. We'll see! The writing portion really annoyed me. First of all, I have always hated handwriting essays. What's the point? It's just a handcramp recipe. Then they ask you to do two essays. That seems even lamer. If you can write one well-structured essay, chances are you can do two or three or ten. If you can't write one, well maybe you'd do better the second time but probably not five minutes after your first, poor, attempt. So it just feels like a punishment to me to handwrite an extra essay.

Today I had my blood counts checked. They are tanked. I'm so discouraged. This has been going on for 20 months now. The nurse said "well look on the bright side, you're still in remission." Yes. Well now that seems obvious. Of course, I'm grateful for that. But it's not a quality remission when you have to deal with bone pain and hospital visits on a monthly basis still. I feel like a whiner sometimes but I want a normal life now. I have gone through enough. Is it really too much to ask to be in remission AND healthy? Because you get the impression that they are one and the same but clearly that's a bad assumption.

I will post our really big news separately...