I'm a Girl

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Hello, My name is Jessica and I'm a girl.

Therefore, I love the girly-retail-heaven otherwise known as Anthro, where I giddily devoured an hour of my life today.

Half aprons? Check.




Dish towels? Check.



Cloth napkins? Check.



Tumblers? Check.


(And you thought they were just called glasses).

I'm not even talking clothes here.
Not sure my blog is big enough for all of my favorite Anthro things.

Just Can't Get Enough

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(Must have Depeche Mode song running through your head)


"Founded in the 1920s, the York Cone Company manufactured ice cream cones and waffles plus selected confectionery items in York, Pennsylvania. In 1940, YORK peppermint patties were introduced locally. Shortly thereafter, demand became so great that all other product lines were discontinued."

Highlights from the corporate timeline:

1975: YORK peppermint patties begin national distribution
1970s-80s: varios mergers and acquisitions
2007: Hershey introduces NEW YORK Mints in a Tin and every time I think of you, I know we have to meet. And I just cant get enough, I just cant get enough, I just can't get enough.

Hormones

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They are the ONLY possible explanation for the stupid tears running down my face watching Celine Dion make this red-headed freshman chick happy on Oprah right now.

(c) The Oprah Winfrey Show


OMG, I am mortified. The only way I will listen to Celine is if she is singing 100 percent in French, is there even an all-French cd out there?

Help me! Where's the damn chocolate anyway?

P.S. I must admit how surprised I am during her intereviews by how down to earth she is compared to her super sappy songs.

How To Sit Still

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I am reading this neat list of 100 things and I am struck by #77.

How To Sit Still

1. Put down everything in your hands.
2. Find a seat that you like and is comfortable.
3. Find something to look at that is interesting.
4. Do not jiggle or wriggle your body.
5. Hold your hands if it helps.
6. Take a deep breath.
7. When you get antsy, take another deep breath.
8. Remember, you are not going to sit here forever.
9. Feel proud of your self-discipline right now.
10. Enjoy the sights and sounds that you are not participating in.
11. Repeat as often as necessary until you are good at it.

Another Doozy from a Doctor

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What is it about a white coat that gives some people the impression they can mouth off?

Today's doozy brought to you by an EYE doctor.

"How many kids do you have?"

"One."

"Oh you're being lazy."

(I think, wait I need to go straight to have my ears checked after this because I'm obviously not hearing correctly).

"What did you say? I couldn't understand you."

"You are being lazy, only one kid."

"No actually we'd love to have more but my doctors won't let me."

(I figured this, while technically incorrect, would shut her the f@#% up.)

"Why?"

"Because I have cancer."

(Surely NOW she will shut the f@#% up.)

"Well how many did you want to have?"

"Two would have been just fine for us. It's not like we wanted 10 or anything."

(Why is she still talking to me about this? Why am I answering her stupid questions still?)

"I guess one for you then. One is good. I think kids are way too much work so I don' t have any."

"Well at least you know your limitations" was the best response I could come up with in my state of shock. More like, thank the universe you don't have to be responsible for caring for tender little children with lame, thoughtless comments like you obviously make all the time.

GRR!

ETA: Upon much further review of the conversation, I wish I had been witty and quick enough to say something along the lines of laziness has nothing to do with anything when it comes to parenting. WTF does she know about laziness if she doesn't even have any kids because she thinks they're too much work?!! I cannot believe I participated in this conversation with her. Boo on me.

Back to Work

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Today was my first day back to the regular, commuting to preschool routine. It happened to be on a Wednesday which is also soccer practice which made for a really long first day back.

Here is my day.

1. Jeff loaded laundry, soccer gear, medical files, laptop, Jaden's lunch & nap stuff, and stuff to return to the following stores: IKEA, Target, Pottery Barn Kids, Apple and Kohl's.

2. I drove in the worst traffic to date since moving to San Carlos and it took one hour to get to Campbell.

3. Drop off Jaden just in time for circle time.

4. Go directly to Kohl's. Return shoes, score big in the bath & kitchen sales. Got 8 cloth napkins, 4 placemats, two bath mats, two bath towels, one hand towel, two jar candles and a shelf for $50.

5. Head to Valley Fair. Pick up my altered jeans two weeks late at Nordstrom, eat a Subway sandwich, return at PBK and Apple (with a scolding for being past the 14 alotted days), stop at Sports Authority hoping and praying for a pool noodle even though it's way past summer season in retail and actually luck out (for Jaden's Halloween costume) and finally hit Old Navy and score a short-sleeved button down shirt for Jeff for $7 (he told me recently he'd wear those in addition to t-shirts 364 days a year).

6. Drive to airplane Target and return fancy sheets. Find an adorable little dress for $19 to wear out with Jamie & her mom this Friday evening in SF for a wine tasting. Goodie! Also found "sweats" in a good color for me, not the obnoxious pastels they usually come in. Sweet. Also grabbed a Real Simple, yay for early holiday ideas.

7. Drive to Whole Foods for toothpaste and an iced tea.

8. Pick up Jaden with two minutes to spare and get a whinefest because he wants to play all afternoon. Receive lasagna, salad, breadsticks and soup as a surprise from Ellen, CDC Director. Catch up with all teachers, two moms and Lara.

9. Go straight to Toys R Us to exchange Jaden's weak Spiderman toy ("this is not a good quality toy Mama, I want to get my money back") and proceed to spend 30 minutes analyzing games. This is progress over yesterday's 75-minute investment in lame Spiderman toys. Climb two shelves and nearly twist my ankle while causing belly aching to reach Dr. Seuss board games only to have them heartily rejected.

10. Drive to Nana's to shovel a snack in the kid before soccer practice. Freak out about missing soccer socks. Kiss my husband's feet for packing the game socks just in case. Beg Nana to take the boy to practice so I can collapse for awhile.

11. Before collapsing, throw the boy's laundry in as he has zero clean clothes in his dresser. Transfer enormous quantities of soup in smaller containers that will fit in my fridge and freezer. Thaw and bake lasagna.

12. After 25 minutes of rest, hustle to get dinner on the table for them when they arrive home from practice. Curse at the dryer after 45 minutes and the clothes are still drenched. Get crankier and crankier as 6:30 comes and goes and they are not home yet. (Practice ends at 6 and is 1.5 miles away).

13. Finally eat when they get home. Try to rush the boy means we got out of there in 30 minutes instead of an hour. Hit the road at 7:12 p.m.

14. Jaden passes out on the freeway and wakes right up in the driveway. Then has a sobbing fit because he can't play his new game and have a regular bedtime with bath. Hello! It is 8 p.m. now! Next time don't play for 35 minutes after soccer! ("It was only 15" according to Nana, sans any form of tellling time, i.e. a CELL PHONE).

15. While Jeff is getting Jaden to bed amidst lots of drama, proceed to unload the laptop, lasagna, salad and soup, clean laundry, Kohl's, Nordstrom and Target bags, two lunch boxes and dirty nap stuff from last week, soccer bag and new game.

16. Drive straight to the laundromat to wash my sheets since there wasn't time to todo those at Betty's and I'll be damned if I'm not crashing on clean sheets tonight!

Luckily my sweet husband went to Trader Joe's and scored the last bottle of a yummy chardonnay we discovered Monday night.

Buonna notte!

AAK

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Hi loyal readers (ha ha, I like to imagine I have a wider audience than I actually have)!

I am AAK -- Alive And Kicking. This is a special phrase we use over at my Stop NHL board. Some of us have been posting over there for 7+ years so we like to check in once in awhile and let each other know we are AAK.

I am pretty amazed at my mental state compared to the days prior to the surgery. I feel practically giddy that Dr. L was able to do the biopsy laporoscopically and I got to go home that day.

It is great to be in my cute little house. I love love my little house. On Sunday, Betty helped me hang a few pictures and on Tuesday night I put my hyper nervous energy to good use and tackled the linen closet. The linen closet had been a nightmare from day one. I think I was so excited to have a REAL linen closet with deep shelves and a door (unlike Felix's "supposed" linen closet) that I just threw every odd item in there.

Betty said it was like the closet on the old Fibber McGee radio show which I had never heard of in my life. Then the night I got home from surgery, Jeff and I were watching News Radio and they totally referenced not only that show, but that episode about the closet!

Spooky!
Boo!

Anyway I went to Walgreens at 10:30 p.m. on that rainy night in my pj's and went bin crazy! I love bins and trust me, I didn't hold back. I got a triple play going on the top shelf of the linen closet and as soon I get up again to hobble over there, I'll take a picture and post it. I also got one very large bin to hold my seasonal bedding (I use one set for spring/summer and a different set for fall/winter). Lastly, I got two medium bins to hold seasonal clothing for me and Jaden.

So do you notice I am not even complaining about the pain or the Vicodin that I'm allergic too or the fact that I was up all night and slept about 20 minutes on every hour or that they must have done something to my bladder because it seems to hold only one nano-liter at a time now. Nope, not complaining there either, just reporting the facts ma'am.

I am just so happy that I am AAK and I didn't die in surgery. Seriously, I was that afraid of general anesthesia. I know I've told most of you that I was all over the doctors' cases before they put me under. I said, "Have you guys been working too many hours, are you too tired? Are you in a bad mood?" and "I don't want any of you talking negatively about me while I'm asleep. I can hear you subconsciously and I won't have it!" They handled it well I think, the attack from their little 95 lb. Sicilian patient grilling them about how they were planning to intubate me.

Oh and the flowers and soup galore! Everyone has made me feel so loved, it is just amazing me. Thank you everyone for all the calls, the cards, the ADORABLE drawings from your kids, the emails, the posts, the thoughts & prayers, the soup, the gorgeous bouquets and most of all the love that comes through and heals me.

Okay I'm rambling. Watch out. I've been busted already for making Jaden's bed yesterday and as soon as Jeff gets home from dropping Jaden at preschool, I'm gonna get busted again. Hopefully he's in too much of a rush to notice I made our bed too. UH OH!!!

It's 1:42 p.m.

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I am going pretty much insane. This sucks. I wanted to have a fun day with Jaden but I underestimated my state of mind. I am edgy. All I want to do is stuff I cannot do alone or cannot do today. Here's my list:

1. Install Jaden's cubby rack
2. Install Jaden's book rack.
3. Clean out hall closet
4. Get rid of large junk and boxes.
5. Purge stuff in the garage.
6. Install the bike rack in the garage.
7. Assemble Jeff's garage shelving.
8. Finish the laundry.
9. Hang the guitars.
10. Install the shelf over my desk.
11. Enter 100 million receipts into Quicken.
12. Get my chocolate pedicure.
13. Return IKEA stuff.
14. Exchange PBK start picture hanger.
15. Be at Jamie & Jay's again.
16. Be with my husband.
17. Be healthy.

Okay now I'm even more depressed than I was 4 minutes ago.

Almost Satisfied

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I've been searching and searching and mulling over new bedding for Jaden's room since we moved. The tree is so stunning and I was trying to match it exactly but it was hard to find playful bedding in the right colors.

Today I decided to move the tree across the room instead of right near the foot of the bed, so it's not as critical for the bedding to match. The best part? All the new goodies were only $74 at IKEA (curtains, duvet, pillow, lamp).

The lamp alone is giddy-making, his other lampshade never fit from day one and rattled every time you turned the lamp on & off. Talk about annoying! Adios lame lampshade.

Voila!




Thanks for the little pumpkins Aunt Jamie. And here is the corner that still needs work, most importantly, hanging the beautiful tree.


And below that tree? Is gonna be this!


Sans the bins underneath, looks too bulky to me that way. Getting a train table has been a huge dream of mine for two years now, so I'm beyond thrilled that we have a cute little house with a room big enough for Jaden to have one.

I salvaged one from a yard sale in spring and had plans to sand and paint it blue to match his dresser, but let's be real. I'm having surgery next week and who knows what after that. This is not the time for a project like that, especially when Jeff admitted he likes this one way more than the salvaged one. And me too! The other one has really long sides such that you could not put a chair under if you wanted it. I just never liked the aesthetics but then again, it was free. But anyway I'm rambling because I'm excited.

I want to go get it RIGHT NOW but Jaden really wants to roast marshmallows in the fireplace tonight with us so I guess I have to honor that and go find firewood and marshmallows. Organic ones hopefully.

Horoscope

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I never noticed over on Yahoo! by my Mail and Weather there is a little Horoscope feature. I decided to click and here's what I get:

Quickie:
Things are changing in an unpleasant way -- but this is a learning opportunity.

Overview:
See if you can get a little help around the house from whomever is usually most resistant to taking care of that part of life. You may be surprised how easy it is to get them motivated without nagging.

What does it all mean? ;)

Quickie Meaning:
Cancer is back but I get to learn AGAIN that life is precious.

Overview Meaning:
My husband will continue going to the coin laundry for me and plan more dinners. :)

Laparoscopic Surgery Coming My Way

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I met with a surgeon this morning and she is no Dr. Eisner, let's get that straight right off the bat. Dr. Eisner was my surgeon in Orange County who did my other biopsies. That man, he was a gift to the world. I hope he's retired now in France with his adorable French wife. He was an amazing surgeon and the most compassionate physician I have EVER come in contact with on this almost 7.5 year journey in cancerland. He will get an entire post of his own one day, I cannot sum him up in an introduction to this biopsy here and now.

Anyway she will do. Besides I am weary now and not as feisty as I used to be I guess. I didn't hate her enough to find someone else. I want to get the show on the road. Besides I'm too sick right now with this stupid head "cold" aka kick my ass to the curb for one week now.

She will go in laparoscopically at first and everyone reading this pray she can get those bad boys out this way. Do you know what laparoscopically means? It means she's going to slice into my groin via my BELLY BUTTON that's what it means.

This shit sucks ass and pardon my fucking French if you don't mind.

And if she can't? Because oh, there's my aorta and some nerves and some limited edition fatty tissues, well then she'll have to go in the "open" way which means I'll wake up with not just three useless (small, but useless) incisions but a fourth gaping one. Great and I'm allergic to every fucking pain pill on the fucking planet.

"What can you take then? Vicodin?"

"Well I have issues with that too but I'll have to deal with it."

"You can always just try Motrin."

Mwuahahahaha. Motrin.

Except starting now, no ibuprofren for my feverish migrainish sad self, nope because that messes with my blood clotting and none of that is going on around here pre-op. No way Jose.

Thanks for letting me vent. I'm really terrified, I don't recover "smoothly" from general anesthesia and it's way, way easier to be pissed off than feel my fear.

Imagine Peace

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Imagine there's no Heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one

-- John Lennon

I made my wish today after my oncologist told me that my cancer is probably back.

You make a wish too.

First Booze Mail Party

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I survived planning my first corporate party!


The Million Booze March happened on Wednesday, 9/19 at the San Mateo County History Museum.



Note to self: don't wear these shoes to the next Booze Mail party! (At least not to the prep and cleanup portions of the party.) I took them off the instant I walked in my front door, and there they continue to sit.





The first photo is Adam, Renkoo's fearless leader and the second is one of me with Doug, my super schwag bag buddy who taught me a life-changing motto that long night of the 400 bags: "It happens" (everytime something went a little haywire). He and his wife Winnie live exactly four blocks away from our new house in San Carlos and brought us the most awesome bag of welcome wagon goodies ever on our second day here.



Here's a picture of me taking time to enjoy all my hard work! (Why do I look so foreign to myself here? I had to ask Jeff if that was really me. "Oh yes," he says.)

So many people came from most of Jeff's jobs over the past four and a half years and I was especially happy to see Raj, the CTO from Jeff's last job at Silver Spring Networks. He is seriously one of the nicest, smartest guys around town. Also from SSN is Stefan, seen here schmoozing with my darling husband (also very nice of course!)


All of these pictures (except my cute and comfortable-for-one-hour-not-six shoes) and more can be found by following this link to the Flickr account of Terry Chay, taken with the coolest camera I've ever seen, a Leica M8.

And if you're wondering why the title of this post is "First" Booze Mail Party, it's because the very next day, Adam asked me if we could get started on the next one! Guess it was a success!