Meet My Robinson

Jeff had to work a lot this weekend and after a mid-day birthday celebration for his dad up in Danville, we headed home. On the way I thought hey, I'll take the kid to see this new movie and give Jeff a solid block of time to code his little heart out.


After a minor snafu (our movie time was sold out so we decided to wait around the 1:40 minutes to see the next showing which was the 3D version), we had a grand old time. We had popcorn and yucky movie hotdogs and bargain peanut butter M&Ms that I got at the mall Target during that long, long waiting time.

Lots of people, including me, got a huge kick out of Jaden wearing his 3D glasses after the movie. He was making me laugh so much that I stopped and got a few pictures of him re-enacting the movie.



And then, the grand finale.

Two Colors

I added a second color to my knitting for the first time Friday night.

I spun myself in circles over the color choice all of last week, but in the end, went back to my original vision.

(Although my original pattern idea has been recently modified and the green omitted altogether. You'll see. Someday. Like next February at this rate.)



There it is, my first row of the new color. All this cold, blustery weather has gotten me in the mood to knit again. I have done about 7 rows of red over the weekend. Knitting really does give me an outlet for my whatevers (restlessness, anxiety, moodiness, etc.).

Factoid: So far I have 68 rows x 150 stitches per row = 10,200 stitches!

Pure Sadness

Trudi died today.

Who cares about shoes...how this, her getting lung cancer or any cancer at all, happened is just beyond my comprehension. I will never understand it.

I can't believe she will never garden again, or anything at all.

It is all so wrong.
I just feel totally numb.
I can't even begin to cry.

New Shoes

Friday I got my first pair of Skechers.

Well I am so happy because I found them at Kohl's for $34.99 and I had a $10 off coupon. And here Zappos sells them for $68.95.

Mostly I am happy because they are a) very comfy and b) have velcro instead of a snap, which we all know doesn't work!

Jackson's Twin

Yesterday Jamie and Jay hosted the most opulent (Jeff's word) BBQ ever.

Jenni & Ed brought their "dog" Rocco and I use quotes there because really Rocco is Jackson's long-lost twin.


This is the first dog in the history of Jackson to match his dominance level AND energy level. They played for over 4 hours straight with hardly any breaks and Jackass, I mean Jackson, fell asleep in the car within two blocks on the way home. Never before seen footage!

Oh wait, I didn't record it.

Future Cyclist

Jeff got some new cycling glasses from his dad and Marsh this weekend for his birthday. But who is the real cyclist in the family? :)



I love this shot with happy Papa in the background.

Happy 34 Sweety

Jeff has a big deadline at work today so we celebrated his birthday yesterday.

We went to lunch all together with Grandpa John at Pluto's Santana Row and then back to Betty's sans Grandpa John (who had an afternoon appointment) to open presents.




Although his mama will be bringing him a birthday cake sometime today for whenever he manages to get home tonight. What a gal.

Jeff lost a lot of stuff on the train recently when he forgot his backpack and no kindness was shown with a deposit at the lost & found. So he got some of his goodies back yesterday.

I asked Jaden earlier this week what he wanted to get Daddy for a present and said NOT a toy. He was quiet for a bit and then asked, "What did Daddy lose on the train again?" I told him he lost his keys, cell phone, skate pads and backpack. Jaden wanted to get him new skate pads but then I told him that Daddy said he likes skating without them because it makes him be more careful.

So he said, "Okay I want to get him a backpack." So we went to REI and I helped him choose one. I put clearance Easter candy inside, Butterfingers and Reese's eggs. See? Happiness.


Here they are exploring all the pockets...


Betty and I joined forces to replace his cell phone and man did we get a deal. Jeff only got this phone six months ago so he wasn't eligible for any deals. But I asked so nicely and the sales guy took pity on me I guess. It was $249 and we got it for $180 with a $50 rebate. YES!


Of course, Jeff exchanged it for something different 5.5 hours later. Oh well!

I thought I'd end this post with this picture of Jaden watching Jeff open his presents. Such pure adoration...it's so precious.



I wonder what it feels like to be Jeff? To be the father of our amazing boy who literally worships the ground he walks on? You are one lucky guy!

P.S. Had to edit the title, forgot to upgrade his age.

Campbell Skate Park

Jaden made me a "creation" and wanted to take pictures of it.

Here it is: the Campbell Skate Park.



With FIVE ramps!

This is for you Jeff, he wanted to show his Daddy. :)

Egg Hunting

Jaden and Ella are hot on the trail of the eggs.

What egg?

Jackson: I'll help you find them!

Jaden: I'm looking for eggs, not people, buddy.

OH! This egg, this one, right here?

Found ya!

Backups and Forwards

I gather from recent conversations with Jaden that Jeff has been working with him about spills & messes at the table or something.

Jaden: Mama, this table and placemat are backups. So if you spill something, it won't go on the floor.

Me: okay, great!

Jaden: But it's NOT for forwards, only backups.

Loose Change

Yesterday, Jeff sent me a link to this movie called Loose Change that questions what we think we know about the events of 9/11.

They have a website also.

I have only watched about 26 minutes of it so far but it really does heckle me. It raises some serious questions. For me, it's way beyond party politics -- it makes me feel so very cynical. I already rarely watch the news and am skeptical about most of what I read as well. But this movie makes me feel even more distrustful of the world in general. I feel powerless to answer any of my own questions about world events. The information supply is not trustworthy in my mind. I mean, what makes us think that we are ever getting the whole story about anything?

It makes me angry.

All Clear

My PET scan was totally clear, still in a complete remission.

What a relief!

I feel confident about this remission but a week of waiting for results will play mental games on anyone and this round got me good. I didn't win the mental portion but it doesn't matter.

I hit my low yesterday when I dragged Jaden over there and begged for the results from the girls at the front desk. They denied me and I got to the hallway and crumpled in a heap of tears on the floor. Jaden thought I was crying about Opa and who knows what the little old lady who came out of the office and saw me thought. It must have been a sight, me outside of the oncologist's office crying on the floor with my little boy.

We went outside and sat in the sun and Jaden picked a yellow daisy for me after asking if it was okay to do that. Then he gave it to me and gently touched my face and said, "Mama I love you and I respect you." Which only got me crying more. Then we spent about 15 minutes watching a potato bug groove his way around the sidewalk.

But I digress. My CBC was also all normal, white count was just there at 4 but who cares. Neutrophils are still running low at 1.5 but again, who cares.

My beloved onc. is back to work and it was great to see her. She seemed really happy to see me too and told me at least three times that I look fabulous. Who wouldn't want to hear that?

Three months till my next exam, I haven't gone three months without a CBC in 25 months. This is great!

Also for all the fans out there, I weighed in at 103.7 today! Holy!

Trudi

Trudi, Trudi, Trudi,

I am not sure how you will ever read this but I hope you will. I am distraught hearing bad news about you. I can't take it. It's so unfair. I want you to get better and I want you to get better NOW. I feel like a 2 y.o. and I want to have a huge tantrum.

This is so out of control. I cannot believe you are going through this. I simply can't handle it. What is going on in this world that YOU of all people are getting hit so viciously by the beast? You are one of the most generous, positive, optimistic, beautiful people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing.

If we weren't on complete opposite sides of this country, I would be there planting your Candy Mountain flowers for you.

Evil Poppit

Death to Poppit!

I love and yet loathe you with a deep passion.

I have let you suck away hours of my life away since I discovered you.
You, with your constant pressure to strategize.

And the tokens and jackpot spins!
Gambling is not necessary with addictive balloon popping.

Even the sound is addictive & I only allow myself the delightful "pop" noise a few times per day.

Groups of colored balloons are burned into my eyelids:


This is all I see when I close my eyes now.

This is sick & it's making me a horrible mother! Jaden and I have been home together all afternoon and have spent zero time together. I am earning not the Bad Mommy award..but the WORST MOTHER OF ALL TIME award.

Poppit! I am breaking up with you!
Right after this game.

Cranky Blah Whiney Whinerson

I have been so blah lately.

Friday I had my PET scan for my six-month cancer checkup. I can't see my onc. until this Friday so I am having to wait a week for the results. I haven't waited more than three days in so long, I can't even remember. I'm sure part of this is why I'm restless, blah, unmotivated and agitated & struggling to sleep at night.

I always think, oh I'm not that worried about it and then realize after the appt. just how weighed down I really was.

I'm also edgy because of money and that always leads me to the housing issue. I feel so unsettled. Are we going to sell or what? I am not feeling too confident about the housing market. And then what? Rent? Rent what? Of course the main thing I love about this house is our backyard and just in time to enjoy it again I feel like I have to give it up. Then I think about summer and roasting in here and an apt. complex with AC and a pool sound mighty nice. Still all this leads me in circles over the biggest question of all: do we stay in CA or move away? Part of me just wants to decide already.

I'm really looking forward to Sunday, a new month and a new start. Because right now, I just feel like crying a river and flooding our dog hair-ridden floors.

Two Cups & Poppit!

For the second time this week, I've had two cups of coffee. I think this is the start of a downward spiral. Eeks.

Is it the extra caffeine or is this game addicting?

I don't even understand the rules, the jackpots, the prizes, whatever -- it's just addicting to hear that popping sound.

Please sign up so I'm not the only one addicted to this.

Definitely works

Stumbled on this blog from Dooce maybe? Can't remember but it's great....I love this picture.


It is inspiring me, not that I can create a space like this here and now, but inspires me to stop and enjoy spring now that it's here. To stop and breathe, if only for a moment.

Aren't the greens so very soothing?

My boys

Here is a super cute picture of my boys from a stage of the Amgen Tour of CA last year.


Okay I think the upcoming 4th birthday is officially getting to me. Time to start searching through iPhoto for the picture dvd, planning the party, making the invites, choosing a gift. All that fun stuff. Looking at all the pictures makes me so weepy. I miss my baby and yet, adore watching him grow. Being a mama is bittersweet business, that's for damn sure.

P.S. Jaden is riding in an Ergo Baby Carrier. The best invention on the parenting planet. We switched when Jaden hit 18 lbs. or so from the Bjorn, the Biggest Back Breaker on the parenting planet.

The Animator

I just happened to realize that Jaden got his big boy bike exactly one year ago today.


Wow, look at his little face -- it seems so much more baby-ish than I remember him being. He always seems so grown up to me. I'm sure it will always be this way, I'll look back and realize how little he really is. Aww, I love you Jaden!

Trixie Tracker

Jeff is so totally ridiculously lucky that Trixie Tracker wasn't around during Jaden's first year. As if the "logbook" wasn't anal enough on my part, just think of all the pretty charts I could have created (i.e. "striking visual summaries")!

I was too brain dead to analyze all the data I collected on Jaden's naps and bottles and the convoluted relationship between the two that I was sure existed, if only I could prove it. And Jeff, what a darling supportive man he is, actually dutifully recorded everything that happened when he was on duty.

But watch out if we ever do get brave enough for baby #2 -- I will be Trixie Tracking my exhausted fingers out! HA! The SAHD that invented this has got to be a Virgo after my own heart.

Now where is my logbook anyway? It just occurred to me that I could retroactively analyze Jaden's sleep & food routines from 2003!